There’s something about going to the movies in the middle of a work day. I feel sneaky and child-like. It’s an excuse to get butter on your fingers and eat things my dietician would freak over if she knew.
When working on a Happiness Project, you are encouraged to look at what makes you feel good, what makes you feel bad, what doesn’t feel right about your life, and what provides you with growth.
The thing in my life that hits all of those marks is my weight.
I weight less in my forties than I did in high school, and I’m still heavy. Right now, I’m just in the obese category. I don’t think I’ve ever been a healthy weight.
Maybe in kindergarten.
But by the third grade, I knew I was fat.
In 2007 I made the decision to pursue bariatric surgery. I had the surgery in 2008 and lost 130 lbs. Over the last couple of years I’ve gained about 15 lbs. back. One of my goals for 2013 is not only to lose those 15 lbs. that I’ve gained, but also to make a push toward a health Body Mass Index, which I’ve never achieved.
I’ve started 2013 at 184.4 lbs. I’d like to end the year 40-50 lbs. lighter. On Thursdays, I’ll focus on my progress.
Happy New Year!
I’m back and giving the Happiness Project another shot.
I think I got a little too excited after reading the book last spring and jumped in without enough planning. Also, I don’t think I realized how hard it would be to manage multiple blogs.
So now I’ve taken a break, and am ready to get back into it. Today we start Happiness Project 2.0.
You can read a little bit about what a Happiness Project is here.
For 2013, my first goal area is “self care.”
Again, I may have aimed a little high. I’ve selected seventeen resolutions for the month:
I think the goals can be broken down into three areas:
I gained weight in 2012. About 10 pounds. I also gained inches. 15! With the weight gain, I’ve also experienced increased fatigue, and general ickiness. I want to turn that around.
Because my work life has been so stressful, I want to make sure I’m taking time to enjoy myself. I want to carve out half an hour a day – just 2% of it, to do something creative and pleasurable.
Sometimes I feel I’m going through life like a zombie. I want to stop and pay attention to things. Build rituals. Express Gratitude. Slow down.
So here we go! Hope to see you along the journey!
Today is the third day of my fiscal fast, otherwise know as a week without money. It’s more difficult than I imagined. No big issues, but I find myself wanting to run get something to drink instead of waiting until I get home, or craving an afternoon snack. It figures. Groceries are the area in my budget most likely to leak coin.
To help avoid the temptation, I’ve removed all the cash and cards from my wallet for the rest of the week. It doesn’t occur to me to run to the store when I know I have no way to pay for it.
There are a couple of things I need… prescriptions to refill. I’ve budgeted for them, and part of me wants to run and get them NOW, when I know I’ll be fine if I wait until Saturday to pick them up. I really didn’t expect this week to teach me anything about patience.
Next week will be my Food Stamp Challenge, and I’ve been planning the last two days. I’ve researched the budget, done some price comparisons at local markets, and need to narrow down a menu. I want to see if it’s possible to eat on the food stamp budget and still manage to include some organic produce. It’s always said that the thing that is most difficult in the challenge is getting fresh foods rather than processed. I’m looking forward to figuring out if it’s true.
It’s hard to believe that I’m already reaching the halfway point of the Financial Health month. August seems to be flying by.
I still have two week-long projects to complete. Tomorrow begins my week without money. My fiscal fast.
What is that, you ask?
Actually, it’s very simple. For seven days, I have committed to not spending any money. None at all. No random purchases. No going out to eat. For a week, I will just make do with what I already have.
It’s an exercise in restraint. I first read about it several years ago in a book by author Jeff Yeager. He came up with the idea while socked in during a particularly bad snow storm. His family was trapped at home for a few days due to the blizzard, so they had no choice but to make the best of what was in the house. It resulted in some creativity in the kitchen and some nice familial bonding.
I just want the practice. I want to be more mindful of what leaves my pocket.
And it will give me time to plan the other remaining challenge for Financial Health month. I’ve wanted to complete a food stamp challenge for some time. I actually started one last year, but had to abandon it because of a hospitalization. For one week, I will commit to preparing my meals on a budget consistent with the allowance received by an individual in the SNAP program. I will need time to research current food prices and plan menus for the week. I want to make the week as healthy as possible. That will be part of the challenge as well.
It’s very easy to delude yourself, I think. You go by, day-to-day, and you stop paying attention to the details.
Sure, that skirt seems a little tight.
Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have had those chips.
I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.
It’s only a couple of pounds…
I weigh myself almost every day so I’m pretty aware of the ups and downs. Generally, I don’t get too excited by it. I know what a salty dinner does to me, or how a day light on fluids will show up at the scale. I know that an unusually heavy workout will cause an uptick for a couple of days.
I know that generally I’ve had more ups than downs recently. I didn’t worry much because I knew it was still in the area where I had control. I know that if I buckle down for a week, it would be fairly simple to get back to where I’m comfortable.
But the scale isn’t the whole story.
And I’ve let it be.
I’ve got a business trip coming up and I have to do a number of presentations. The presentations mean I’ve got to drag out the suit. I put one on, and it was tight. I could zip and everything, but it was uncomfortable. So I pulled out a different one. It, too, was tight. I felt like a sausage! No way I could present all day in those pants.
I ended up pulling a pile of pants out of the closet, searching for a pair that wouldn’t bust at the seams. It was disconcerting. I bought several new suits this spring, and I know I didn’t buy anything that didn’t fit well in the store.
So this morning, I dug out the book where I used to record my measurements with religious fervor. I hadn’t made notes since April of 2011. I pulled out the tape measure, and got ready for dose of truth. Since that last record, my weight was up seven pounds. Not great, not horrible. When focused, I can drop that pretty quickly. My measurements, though, were up across the board.
By a lot.
When all was said and done, I was up 8.75 inches!
Inches aren’t as easy to fudge as pounds. And when I went back further I realized that I’d picked up about 15 inches since my lowest weight.
I think that I’ve given myself too much credit lately. I’ve started taking swimming lessons. I’ve done a 5K this summer. Everything HAD to be rosy! Besides, I used to weigh 300 lbs.! Look how much I’ve kept off! For four years and counting!
Well, now I’ve got my wake up call. So much for skipping the weight training and blowing off cardio several days a week. I’ve got to do better.
Here’s the progress on the 41 Pounds Project:
I’m traveling this week, and that always makes eating well harder. My daily goals for this week are to exercise 30 minutes, get 70 grams of protein, eat freggies, drink 100 oz. of water, and food journal, aiming for about 1400 calories.
I also need to start weight training again. I’ve been remarkably lazy on that front, and the measurements are where that shows up the most. I’m not going to cry (even though I kind of feel like it), and I won’t beat myself up either, because that never helps. But now that I know exactly where I stand, I can choose to move backward, forward or frozen where I am.
Let’s start chasing the horizon.
I have a confession to make.
I have debt.
A lot of debt.
It is the thing I am most ashamed of. It keeps me up at night. It makes me scared to answer the phone or the door. It keeps me from going to the doctor for needed treatment. It makes me feel like less of a person. It makes me feel small and weak.
It’s not as bad as it used to be. I’ve worked very hard at reducing the debt, and I’ve made a lot of progress. Thing is, it’s like when I weighed 300 lbs. You lose 10 or 20 or 30 pounds, and you’ve still got SO FAR to go.
So for the second month of my Happiness Project, I’m going to focus on Financial Health. My goals for this month can be divided into two categories. One category will be daily challenges. Like last month, I’ve set some goals for each day.
I also have some one-time challenges to complete before the end of the month.
I’m actually looking forward to this month’s challenges. It’s exciting to think of how much I might be able to squeeze out of my budget. Not that I wouldn’t like an iced latte or a new fall skirt or pair of trousers, but it would be nice if just for a few weeks I could be in control of my finances rather than be controlled by fear and worry.
Photo by Gregory Bull
Ouch! Was I the only one that found this hard to watch? I knew that there was an upset in gymnastics from web chatter, but I really tried to tune it out so I could watch it unfold on the broadcast. I’ve never really understood the rule that only allows two gymnasts from each country to move on to the all-around. To finish fourth out of 60 competitors and still not move on to the finals?
Fortunately my feedback loop isn’t so public, and I’ve still got eleven months to try to make a positive finish. In case you missed it, on July 1 I set out to lose 41 pounds. I picked this number for a couple of reasons:
I also set some daily resolutions to help me make progress. I’m a firm believer that what gets monitored gets done. Those seven goals were:
Ideally, this is where I’d tell you my stats, but in all honesty, I didn’t keep my resolution chart for the full month. I can’t really give you specifics. I can tell you that I fell flat on the strength training and the freggies. Everything else is a guess.
I did lose some weight though. July 1 I weighed in at 183 lbs. On July 29, my last weekly weigh-in for the month, I weighed in at 181.4. An official loss of 1.6 lbs. for the month.
If I’m going to meet my goal for the year, I’m going to have to improve. I need to lose just over 3 lbs. each month. Since I didn’t do well tracking the Health and Well-Being Resolutions for July, I’m going to carry them over into August. I’ll have two sets of resolutions to track next month.
More on August’s goal area tomorrow.
It’s that time again!
Lazy Saturdays and time to catch up on all of the reading and exploring I didn’t get to during the work week. Some of the things I found interesting…
A beautiful home tour courtesy of Garance Dore.
Tips for buying a new sofa from Apartment Therapy.
Lisa Congdon’s beautiful hand lettering project.
And for a lighthearted moment, Jeremiah’s “Conversation with my 12-year-old Self”
If I could talk to my 12-year-old self, I think I’d tell myself not to worry too much about the move. It will take a while, but eventually you’ll learn to love that place.
Anything you would tell your younger self?
Are you comfortable going out in public alone?
Not going to the mall or running errands, but say, going to a restaurant? Or a concert?
Last night there was a concert in town I really wanted to see. Two of my favorite artists from the 80s. I didn’t have someone to go with me, so I passed.
I travel a lot for work, and while I eat a lot of room service (or even better, bring and prepare my own food), I’ve gotten used to going to a busy restaurant with a book or work project and eating a meal by myself. I like to people watch, and eating alone can be a good excuse for that if you don’t end up feeling creepy staring at others.
It’s not natural though. I’m not totally at peace at a table for one.
Thing is, you HAVE to eat. You don’t have to listen to music, or go to the ballet. But those types of things enrich your life. They create memories that you carry with you.
Last night, when the concert was going on, I found myself wondering what songs were playing, who I might have known there, and I wonder if I cheated myself out of something.